Do you have the courage to look inside, meet new people, and create meaningful connections? As a modern professional Latina mom, I didn’t always have the courage or time to do this, and I wish that I connected with people sooner. Let’s talk about the power of finding your tribe even when you feel like a lone traveler. I will then walk you through 3 strategies that can help you build your tribe and find your people.
Merriam Webster defines a tribe as, “a group of persons having a common character, occupation, or interest.”
A lot of us long to find our tribe, our people, our kindred spirits. Yet, for some reason, mostly due to fear, and past hurts, time constraints, or location we hesitate to create meaningful relationships. As humans, we have a need to belong, and it is natural to want to find a group where you fit in and feel accepted.
As little kids our tribe mostly consisted of our family, the kids we went to school with, and the people we were in sports, dance, or extra circular activities with. Some of us, grew up with the same friends until we either moved, away, went to college, or had some other life events happen that removed or altered the relationship. It was easier to make friends because friends sort of came built into the natural structures of life, and we had relationships kind of by default. But how do you find your tribe as an adult? It is not as simple as it was in grade school when you could go up to someone and ask them to be friends and then you were. No, adult friendship is so much more complicated, or is it?
While it can be challenging to find a tribe when you are a busy professional mom, especially during a global pandemic you can try some of the following strategies.
Step 1- Get to Know Your Social Community
If you are on social media, it is easy to get into the passive review of content and potentially be intimidated to connect with someone new. Social media is a great place to connect with and develop friendships. Some of my closest friends started off as social media contacts and have developed into close relationships. This is an area where you will have to take the first step. Send a DM, InMail, or private message to someone you may want to get to know. This is also a great way to network and build a new community. Start by letting the person know why you like them. Maybe it was a post you connected with, a picture that made you think, or you love the recipes and workout tips they share. You can let them know how their work resonated with you and that you are looking to connect with new people. Social groups on Facebook and other sites are also great places to create connections with people who enjoy the same things you do. Try following a new mom group, engage with a live feed, or even start your own thing. You can also connect with me on Instagram @marloyramirez. You never know who is waiting to be your next friend.
Step 2: Seek Spiritual Community
One way to find and create new relationships is by connecting and seeking a spiritual community. Churches, synagogues, temples, and mosques can be places to find faith communities.
Many of these places in the spiritual community are aware of how the pandemic has changed regular services practices. Because of this, the spiritual community has adopted new ways to connect. From virtual services to parking lot connections, to volunteer activities via zoom, spiritual communities can provide you with a group of people who have the same beliefs and core values you have. A spiritual community does not have to be religious. Meditation groups, nature groups, are just a few examples of opportunities to connect with those who consider themselves spiritual, but not necessarily religious.
Step 3- Get to Know Your Co-Workers Even if You Work Remotely
You spend so much time at work, and nowadays amidst a global pandemic, you may be spending even more time at work than you may even realize. Getting to know your co-workers can be fun, and a great way to create a connection. If your company offers virtual happy hours opt-in, connect via chat and gifs. It can be hard sometimes not to be all business. Remembering we are all human helps. I like to ask questions outside of “how are you”? If I am working with a co-worker and we just came off a weekend, I like to ask this question. “tell me something good that happened to you this weekend?” It is all about asking questions and finding those you can have fun with. Some of the best relationships of my life have come from my work friendships.
When you go through ups and downs you can have crucial conversations, laugh at what you are dealing with or working on, and get to know each other because of the fun stories that are shared about kids, boyfriends, and crazy parents.
As you build relationships you are essentially connecting with people that you are willing to spend time with.
Try to pick people who:
1. Lift you up
2. Share the same core values and morals you have
3. Motivate you
4. Guide You
5. Lookout for you
6. Bring value to your life
7. And most importantly fill your heart with joy
Be willing to allow your tribe to change, evolve and grow. You also have to be willing to do the same for your tribe. Relationships thrive when you nurture them. Sometimes it is as simple as sending a handwritten card to a friend or ordering dinner for your overworked co-worker who just lost someone in her family. It’s about complimenting someone on a wonderful presentation when you know they were super stressed out about it. It is about showing up, being vulnerable, and being willing to take the first step. Keep trying to forge new ways to connect and you will build your tribe.
Are looking for ways to connect with a community? Follow me on Instagram @marloyramirez. If you are looking for deeper ways to connect, and maybe even become a better friend, schedule your 30-minute complimentary session. I would love to help you move your mountains.